...unless I am being chased by a bear.

Which doesn't happen too often. What has happened again is that when I got on my mat to do my practice, my fear came back. Since I have a level 2-3 class on Sunday I decided to give level 3  a try for the first time since my operation.

I am becoming aware of the fact that the feeling I perceive to be fear is many times nothing more than a whiny voice in my head that doesn't like feeling discomfort and stiffness. The voice doesn't like failure either, as though not being able to do an asana fully after a monthlong pause is the same as failing.

I sort of like this challenge as I am coming to terms with it. I can listen to the whiny voice and then respond by asking myself if I can just keep breathing, just continue through this moment. I tried listening to the voice to see if I needed to back off, and wasn't "afraid" to use Child's pose when I needed it. I used what my teacher Josephine taught me about building up to an asana (position) step by step. I reminded myself about the "universal principles of alignment" used in Anusara yoga which simply meant keeping my energy activated.

I remind myself of what I do know, that is the basics, rather than obsess about worst case scenarios. I accept that I am in the process of coming back into my practice, and at the same time, as always, I notice that my path is once again changing.

Maybe if I can keep on being more accepting towards my practice, eventually I will be more accepting towards the people and things that drive me crazy off the mat as well?

Nirvana??